Touch Tiara

 2006.10.10

Human beings are designed for many things
But loneliness is not one of them.
It's a promise made to each of us at birth But before that promise is kept
we all hope something will happen to us
Whether it is the thrill of romance
the joy of finding out our love or the anguish of great loss
We all hope to experience something that make our lives meaningful
But the sad fact is not all lives have meaning
Some people spend their time on this planet just sitting on the sidelines
waiting for something to happen to them before it's too late

Each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate hope that
come morning it will all be true
Sooner or later the time comes when we all must become responsible adults
and learn to give up what we want so we can choose to do what is right
Of course a lifetime of responsibility isn't always easy
And as the years go on it's a burden that can become too heavy for some to bear
But still we try to do what is best what is good not only for ourselves but for those we love


we live each in our own way so brave so determined and so very desperate
Desperate to get everything we want even when we've not exactly sure of what that is
Desperate for life to be perfect again although we realize it never really were
Desperate for a better future if we can find a way to escape our past
I not only watch I cheer everybody on these amazing people
I hope so much everyone will find what they're looking for but I know not all of them will
Sadly that's just not the way life works not everyone gets a happy ending

we have beautiful dreams for the future and quiet hopes for a better life
If god could, would angel warn everybody of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store?
No. From where they stand now they see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled

2006.09.22 

旅行途中有很多风景也许这一生就只看这一次．可以选择忘掉，可以选择用某些外部记忆装置储存下来，作为回忆的检索．

人总是害怕会消失．会像写在黑板上的字一样一抹即掉．但事实上，大多数人正是如此．一个人的历史是如此微不足道，即使被历史轻易的.抹杀掉也不足为怪．因此那些存在害怕自己会＂消失＂的这一潜意识的人会开始寻找自己的外部记忆装置．这样的东西可以是一只手表，一个布偶或是一本日记，而大多数时候，是一个人。

当我们和这另一个以人的形态出现的外部记忆装置在一起时会制造与其同时产生的记忆，因此，我们对于他们来说同样是外部记忆装置．这样互为＂装置＂的人通常会产生彼此依赖或是某种强烈的羁绊的联系感．

我们通过另一人记住曾经的自己，肯定自己的存在，那另一个人就像是一面镜子，映照出过去时的自己．我们对于寻找这样的外部记忆装置乐此不疲．两个人一起回忆过去，互相补充，总比一个人来得完整，更有＂肯定＂的价值．即使最终这个外部记忆装置跟我们一样，是会消失的．

当一个人成为你的＂装置＂，那个人就是另一个你．他是你的数据库，当数据库丢失，你的自我也将不复存在．因为没有任何东西可以证明你的存在．身体会随时间腐烂，消失，世人所能保存的，除了＂装置＂之外，无可证明．

他人的生命即是你的生命，反之亦然．

但相较于人这类脆弱的生物，我更偏向于选择某些更持久的东西作为外部记忆装置．例如文字．文字可以有很多的保存方法．纸，TXT文档,BLOG,等等等等.我建议最好用各种能想到的方式都保存一份.

我对于"装置"这类东西如此歇斯底里,不过是因为我比任何都害怕自我的"消失"罢了.


超爱这种对话

2006.09.18

雄健的鹰飞向了北方
最后一株秋草渐渐倒下
我开始相信一只蚂蚁的弱小
相信一只羚羊的死亡

站在岁月的风口
谁听见他内心的一些想法
逃得比冬眠的动物更加迅速

不会追问自己，
到底想要什么样的幸福生活。
我想，
我在感觉，我在经历，我在前行，
虽然不知道自己要的是什么，却会很清楚的知道自己不要的是什么。

很想告诉你 什么是幸福

幸福或许就是幻觉再美好的东西都必须放手，用一生的时间去体会，一张面孔，一种温度，一段春暖花开的时间。

2006.08.24

i've never realize that this 24 hours were hard to get through...It's hard to sleep and wake up,one continuous thought confusing me severely. I'm really ashamed for sth i can easily take up but hard to give up. Maybe it is me,it is absolutely my mentality and behavior but obviously hard to control, maybe i don't want to,to control the inudant feelings,to control my rational sense. I had got enmeshed in a web of my own all the time but never to ask myself why it happened to me.

some guy should be grown up to confront the past infact and loneliness that belong to me Keep quiet,although 24hs seem endless but it will become the past little by little affirmatively
24*24*24......and then?